pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (Hee!)
This is the best 15 minutes I've spent in a long time. BEST. LABYRINTH. REVIEW. EVER.



Seriously, if you like Labyrinth even a little bit, you must watch this. It also gives good insight into why I love teaching teenagers (even if they aren't all as cool as this one).
pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (Inspire Writing)
My newest blog post at Little but Fierce is up: PEEP SHOW! It's not what you think.

It's better.
pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (Hee!)
I saw this and thought of you!

This Valentine's Day, Say It With Ferrets!"
pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (Hee!)
I really, really needed a laugh tonight, and dearest [livejournal.com profile] domestinatrix provided one.

I think this just may be the best thing ever.

"Baby Got Back" a la "Modern Major General," complete with dubbed, original libretto. You've never heard Sir Mix-A-Lot quite like this before, trust me.

pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (edumacashun)
Oh my. I just taught my creative writing class. The students are starting their first complete short story, so we were focusing on character development. Part of the lesson involved reading a short chapter about character from Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird. This is a teeny, tiny workshop class--only four students due to a scheduling screw up--so we're very close. Anyway, we start taking turns reading through the chapter, and we get to the section about creating likable narrators. Lamott writes:

If your narrator is someone whose take on things fascinates you, it isn't really going to matter if nothing much happens for a long time. I could watch John Cleese or Anthony Hopkins do the dishes for about an hour without needing much else to happen.

Only the girl reading, a junior, doesn't say "John Cleese." She accidently says, "John Cheese." And for whatever reason, this strikes all of us as unbearably funny. We started to laugh and could. not. stop. I tried to take over the reading, but then they'd start giggling again and I'd lose it. I honestly don't know why "John Cheese" is so funny. The visual, maybe? Then we started inserting references to John Cheese into the rest of the chapter, and it was all over.

Now a person's faults are largely what make him or her likable....Preoccupation with self is good, as is a tendency toward procrastination, self-delusion, darkness, jealousy [or an obsession with Gouda]. They shouldn't be too perfect; perfect means shallow and unreal and fatally uninteresting. I like for them to have a sick sense of humor, [to carve little statues out of sharp Vermont cheddar and give them to their love interests].

Yeah. We didn't get much more done. I'm sure this is nowhere near as funny to anyone outside of our class, but I'm still chortling. This is one of those moments when I think that I have the best job ever.
pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (Hee!)
In honor of this holiday, I link you to this journal. I'd seen some of these before, but some are completely new and very funny. Be sure to scroll through all the comments. Enjoy!
pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (Hee!)
student pokes head in door
Ms. Taylor!
waves red balloon at me
This is my balloon. I named it Odysseus. Have a nice weekend!
pops back out
pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (Mia hiding)
Mia (our resident Puppycat, in true Puppycat fashion, though never as Puppycattish as Cass' original) had an adventure tonight.

When I got home around 5, I let Byron out for a little run-and-pounce. Since he is primarily motivated by his stomach and had not yet been fed, I was not worried about getting him back in. Unfortunately, I didn't notice Mia sneaking out a few minutes later. When we were ready to leave for dinner about 30 minutes later, Byron came right in. Supper time! Mia, however, was nowhere to be found.

We combed the house and the yard and did our best here-kitty-kitty calls, but no luck. We were about to give up when T., our back neighbor and landlord, called out from the garage where she'd just parked, "I think she's in my back yard!" I raced back...

...and found Mia nose-to-nose with her new friend, Pepe. Yes, that's right, a skunk. A SKUNK. Just think about the possibilities, people. Not good.

Let me tell you, trying to separate a cat and skunk while attempting to startle neither? Not easy. I really don't recommend it. I did succeed to some extent--the skunk ran, Mia gave chase and then changed course and darted the other direction, and I breathed a sigh of relief. The relief lasted exactly long enough to see her dart into an open grate and under T.'s house.

A lot of older houses out here have these raised foundations. The space beneath is just large enough to worm through when doing plumbing or electrical work, but it is really not accessible by humans. Cats, on the other hand, fit just fine. We tried calling and coaxing, but nothing worked. We finally gave up and went out to do our errands and ate. We figured she'd be waiting by the door when we got home.

We were wrong. What she was doing was meowing piteously from behind one of the foundation grates. One of the closed foundation grates. When ND pried it open, though, she panicked and darted back into the blackness. A flashlight revealed her about six feet back under the house, crouching miserably in the dirt and covered in cobwebs. More calling and coaxing and food rattling and toy throwing had no effect. We finally went back inside.

About 15 minutes later, the piteous meows started again. Thankfully? This time they were coming from the back porch.

She is in now and is NOT GOING OUT AGAIN any time soon.
pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (slightly distrubing)
Oh give me a home where the chilled air does blow,
And the cats do not pant on the floor,
Where seldom is heard an obscene curse word,
As the heat wafts in the front door...




I am beginning to think I am not meant to have a functional air conditioner.

After finally convincing P. of the necessity of having air conditioning; ascertaining that there is only one exterior wall where AC can be installed; ordering the unit; working out a schedule for repayment from P. and C.; scheduling an appointment for installation; rescheduling the appointment when the unit wasn't delivered in time for the first one; debating with P. about the aesthetic placement of the unit; finally reaching agreement on placement; rearranging the furniture to accommodate said placement; and asking Drew if he'd be willing to camp out at my place on installation day since I would be out of state, you would think that I would have a nicely cooled apartment right now. We've earned it, right?

Apparently no. Apparently I've offended the God of Cooling or the Goddess of All Things Chilled.

A story that will be funny someday—ah hell, it's probably funny to anyone not involved now—behind the cut. For the sake of clarity, all times listed are Pacific.
Read more... )

And who knows? Drew may eventually be willing to sleep with me again. Someday. If I'm lucky and the lemur doesn't bite him when they shove it into the hole in the wall and try to make it cool the house.
pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (you wish you were this cool)
I haven’t written a funny essay in a while, but I think this afternoon cries for one.
Read more... )
I’m not sure if there’s a moral to this story. All I can tell you is that if there is one, I’m not climbing any trees to get it.

humor meme

Jul. 24th, 2005 12:41 am
pixkris: Wedding Day Smiles (objects in mirror)
Couldn't resist this.

Read more... )

Off to bed for me...party tomorrow and much to do to prepare still.

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